Every now and then
Every now and then I think about you.
It’s been a long LONG time. We were only kids and we were not even aware of what was in store for us. But we hated everything, anyhow. I can talk for myself: of all the things this world has, I could only love my family, my guitar and you.
God knows how I loved you. I loved you to the bone. My biggest dream was to see you, to just sit next to you. I had daydreams about us, laying on a mattress inside an old house, feeling a could breeze of a Saturday afternoon, smoking a cigarette, listening to The Smiths while we could just talk and share our everlasting love.
Every now and then I still have this dream.
But all of this, it’s all gone now. I reckon it’s gone for good. I will never see you again, ever in my life. We will never talk to each other again. We will never share dreams as we used to do. It’s been 12 years that I have no news about you.
Are you in love with someone? Are you still an artist? Are you still that free spirit I fell in love with? Do you still listen to Yo La Tengo and Pixies and have cats and like movies and love books and play the guitar? I guess the answer is yes.
I wish I could meet you to tell you how, before formating my old computer, I found this recording of you singing and playing “Stop me if you think you’ve heard this one before”. I kept it for a while, but you know… after some years without any contact at all, it was slowly becoming a bittersweet memory. The last time I listened to it, I crumbled completely and deleted the file.
God knows I wish we could just one more time. Just for one more day I wish I could feel that burning sensation of love, pure love, young and naive love.
Every now and then I get my feelings confused. It’s never the same thing.
Well. After a while, I guess this is not a tale, neither a story. I just needed to get this out of my system.
